Ok so maybe that’s not entirely true. I do have lazy tendencies; I like naps and I’ll be quick to say “But I’m so lazy!” However, I’m really not a lazy individual. I work a full time job, a part time job, I’m a mommy to two daughters, a fiance, and a college student. But as I think about some of the older photos I’ve posted of myself lately and my expression of wanting to get back to that body, it occurs to me that most people don’t know what happened to me. Yes, I have gained a substantial amount of weight. No, I have not been able to lose that weight. No, I have not broken my fitness or diet routine (when I say diet I mean eating habits, not “I’m living on practically nothing”). I’ve been showered with motivation and encouragement. So many people saying, “You can do it!” or “You’ve got this!” or my favorite, “You did it once you can do it again!” While I appreciate every word of encouragement and every suggestion and every push…it’s really not as simple as it used to be.Background: In 2007, I gave birth to my second baby and I weight in at 205 pounds; the heaviest I had ever been. I’ve always struggled with being a heavier person but at that point I had hit my lowest point. In 2008 I made a change. I started exercising; I was taking Zumba® classes, following Richard Simmons videos (go ahead and chuckle; no shame lol), and I had also taken up jogging. I put more effort into what and how much I ate. Within a year I had dropped 50 pounds. I felt amazing. I was more confident and felt more comfortable in my skin. I started trying new things to challenge my body like taking HIIT and strength training classes. I had fallen in love with fitness and I had never been an athlete or into exercising before.
Fast forward to 2013: I was still stable at my 165 pounds. I was working in a very stressful, fast-paced industry, which I loved, but ended up in a location that couldn’t keep up with the business demands. My anxiety started to spike and eventually hit a peak so high I started suffering small nervous breakdowns on the job. That’s not healthy. My doctor prescribed me a medication for anxiety and depression; yes, I suffer from both. The good news is that the meds worked; I felt more in control of my moods and thoughts and I felt like I could breathe. The bad news is that the meds caused a 30 pound weight gain within a one year time frame. I immediately had my doctor take me off. I worked so hard to get where I wanted to be physically and feel comfortable with myself that I could NOT be back to where I started all those years ago. It’s been two years since I stopped taking the medication. In those two years I began re-challenging my body to shed the unwanted weight through different fitness formats including hiring a personal trainer for the very first time. I’ve cleaned up my eating even more than before and even tried the ever popular 21 Day Fix. And you know what has happened? Nothing. 😦
I currently weigh in at 197 pounds. My last body fat % was 22.1%, which is in the healthy range for a woman. Truth? I hate seeing myself in the mirror, dressed or not. I despise not seeing myself the way I was at my prime. But I haven’t stopped exercising and eating right. I continue to mix up my workouts so that my body never knows what coming. I mix up my meals so that my metabolism doesn’t get complacent. I still haven’t found the winning combination that will spark that change in my body again. In 2008 when I made the initial change my body responded quickly because I had never been an active individual. This time around my body can handle a lot more and is used to being pushed past boundaries. I continue to do what I need to do to be healthy, which is what is most important at the end of the day. I have no medical issues or conditions that prevents me from shedding weight or working out to my maximum. I’m just currently at a wall that requires creativity to climb.
I’m not lazy. I’m not sedentary. I practice healthy eating habits (for the most part). I just wanted to lay this all out. I do practice what I preach on a regular basis.